A Year of Blogging: November 13, 2011

There are several things you could celebrate on November 13. It is Sadie Hawkins' Day, Gaming Day, Indian Pudding Day, and World Kindness Day. But for me, it has a more personal meaning. November 13 was my Grandma Primeau's birthday. Today she would have been 82. So we are on another of the Grandparent birthdays. When, just a few years ago I had a grandparent celebrating a birthday in October, November, December, and January; now I have a lot of reminders. We're still in that dreaded year of firsts with Grandma Primeau. We're two-thirds of the way through the year, but with the birthday today, we entered the hardest part of the year. In another two weeks, Grandpa will mark his 64th anniversary, the first without his bride. When I interviewed them for the family history, Grandpa said they got married two weeks after her 18th birthday because he wanted to make sure she was 18. Then of course, we go into Christmas followed by Grandpa's birthday on New Year's Day. Add to this is the punch that Grandma was diagnosed shortly after Thanksgiving last year, so the memories are a bit overwhelming right now. Grandma was inquisitive. We all joked that having a conversation with her was like playing '20 Questions'. She loved details. You couldn't tell her you went out for dinner. You had to tell her where you went, what you ate, and who went with you. She was always talking. She used to only make long distance calls after 9pm, when it was cheaper. This irritated my Dad, because my parents went to bed around 9 because Dad was up at 4 or earlier. Grandma could call at 9pm and talk to you for an hour. Both of my Grandmothers were talkers. It has been said my gift of gab came from Grandma. We've never specified which one. Grandma didn't mind chaos. Which is a good thing, given that she had 10 children (two died as infants, so we usually say she had 8). She told us stories of my Dad growing up, and I had to wonder why she had more children after him. Then I wonder what kind of stories she told my cousins about their own parents. By the end of her life, the family numbered just under 60. At a time when others were reaching for Excedrin or alcohol; Grandma sat there smiling. The more the merrier. She truly believed that. Grandma and Grandpa used to have a Labor Day party every year. There were years that 300 people came to those parties. The parties were held at their house, well, in the yard. Once we were about 10, my sister and I asked Grandma if we could bring friends. She never minded. We could have brought 10 friends each and she would have smiled and said 'get something to eat'. Everyone called her Grandma. My friends, my sister's friends, my cousins' friends. She opened her arms and gave everyone a hug. And food. Food would solve all your problems. I find it funny that I connect food with Grandma Primeau. Grandma Wager was an amazing cook. Grandma Primeau was not. In fact, Grandpa did most of the cooking (Dad's sisters cooked as they were growing up). If they went to a church picnic, it was my Grandpa who spent time baking pies. The only person I have ever met who could burn a chocolate cake was my Grandma Primeau. Grandpa used to put his cake in a bowl and pour milk over it so it would be moist. Yet, Grandma was always trying to feed people. If you stopped over, she always asked 'can I get you something to eat?' There was a funny thing with Grandma. When she held a baby, they cried. I'm not just talking a little fussing. We're talking flat out wailing, shrieking, head turning bright red crying. It didn't matter who's baby it was, or what the baby's temperament was. I've watched her take the most passive, happy baby in her arms, and it turns into this noise machine. We teased her about this. You don't expect a woman who has raised eight children to have this effect on babies. Grandma had 15 grandchildren. There were times I felt lost in the crowd. I was number 7 out of 15. We connected in a special way on the family history. My Grandmother was a living family almanac. She could tell you everyone's birth date, who they married, their anniversary, the names and birth dates of their children. Not just for her own descendants. She knew all the details of her cousins' families as well- an amazing feat because her mother was one of 14 children, and her father was one of 15. I've been working on the family history for years and I still don't know how many first cousins my Grandma had. I haven't had the time to count them all! When I started working on the family tree, I asked Grandma to tell me what she knew of her side of the family. She sent me eight pages from a legal sized notepad; the front and back of each page covered with her handwriting. She was a wealth of information on the family history. Until the last couple of generations, the family stayed close geographically. So it's no wonder she thrived in our big family- she grew up surrounded by family. I miss her so when I'm working on the ancestry. Especially when I'm going through the church records of her church, and have a question. She's not here to answer them now, I have to figure it out on my own. Most of the family gathered at Grandpa's church where 8am Mass was said for Grandma. Then they went for breakfast and to the cemetery to put flowers on her stone. I decorated for Christmas. Grandma loved Christmas, so I think it's appropriate.