A Year of Blogging: October 19, 2011

October 19 is 'Evaluate Your Life' day. If you don't like the direction you are taking, then change it. You have the power to change it. I recently had the chance to evaluate my life. I didn't expect to do it, but the experience filled me with the realization that the paths I've chosen have led me to the place I am supposed to be. October 19 is a more personal day for me. It was my Grandma Wager's birthday. Today she would have been 94. I miss her just as much today as I have for almost every day since she's been gone. She was born Ruth Elizabeth Yerke in Petersburg, NY- the town five minutes north of my hometown of Berlin. Her father was a farmer. He could have been a mortician. My great-great Grandfather Yerke died as a young man, leaving a wife and four small children. The children were 'farmed out' or sent to live with family and friends to lesson the burden on the young widow. My great-grandfather, David, was sent to live with the Barber family. The Barber's ran the funeral home in Petersburg, and it was hoped young David would learn the trade. He tried- but as he came out of one of the hollows with a deceased, he hit a bump with the wagon. Rigor mortis had already set in on the body, and the body bolted up, arms straight out, as if it were coming after him. That spooked David, and ended his career in mortuary sciences. He helped the Barber family on their farm. His gratitude to the family was shown when he named his first child after the mother of the family- Ruth Elizabeth. Grandma grew up during The Great Depression. The family moved a lot. Grandma was able to continue going to school, and actually did finish high school but never officially graduated. Her family moved just before her high school graduation, and there was no forwarding address for the school to send her diploma to. I think this was the time they moved to the banks of the Mohawk River and lived in a tent. Her mother was described as the best cook you ever met. There are still a few people in the valley who remember my great-grandmother, and they still rave about 'Hattie's pies', even though Hattie has been dead for nearly 50 years. Grandma inherited her mother's cooking skills. Grandma could cook anything. I can still picture her, standing in the kitchen. Kneading dough for her famous rolls, rolling out buttermilk dough for the equally famous donuts. It seemed she was always cooking something. There were times we arrived from the airport at midnight and she had a full ham dinner waiting for us. No one was allowed to go to bed until they ate. She certainly passed the cooking gene on to Mom, and I think she would be proud of me too. If something is wrong, cook. Food solves everything. At least Grandma felt it did. Grandma could be a very hard woman. She was fiercely independent and not known for biting her tongue. If you made her mad, you knew it. She had quite a temper. But she could also be very caring and sweet. She had a soft spot for Aunt Arlene's beagle, Rusty. Grandma took him out for ice cream and bought him his own ice cream cone. She and Grandpa helped found the ambulance in Berlin, at first using some of their own money to buy the first ambulance. She always wanted to be a nurse. She didn't get to be a nurse, but she ran on the ambulance for about 20 years. Grandma could be incredibly silly. One of my favorite memories is of us playing 'Monkey in the Middle'. By this point, as teenagers, Laura and I were both taller than Grandma. Grandma didn't understand the concept of Monkey in the Middle, that we were supposed to keep the ball away from the one in the middle. It was easy to clear the ball over her head, and just as easy if one of us were in the middle to catch it as she threw it. Grandma was the 'monkey' most of the time. She went to stick her tongue out at us, but lost her false teeth. The teeth fell onto the pavement, which caused my sister and I to erupt in laughter. Grandma laughed too, which caused her bladder to give out. That made us laugh harder. Grandma went running through the house, my sister and I were rolling with laughter, and Grandpa just shook his head and asked 'what did she do now?' Grandma Wager's birthday on October 19 was the first of my Grandparents' birthdays. We had one a month until the last on January 1. This year, it's the first of the reminders. No present to buy today. Don't need one for November, and December is just Mom & Dad's anniversary and Christmas. A time that once seemed so full now seems so empty. This picture is one of my favorites of my Grandparents, and one of the last I have with them. It was taken about 1991 or 1992, on one of our visits to Florida in February. The family tradition was to go to Fresco's, an Italian restaurant in Deland, on our last night there. They had this beautiful mural outside the restaurant. It was actually a fountain, water trickled down over it. We took a photo in front of this each year. This one shows Grandpa with his infamous yellow sweater. Happy third Birthday in Heaven, Grandma! I'm sure you and Grandpa have danced the day away.