A Year of Blogging: August 7, 2011

The first Sunday in August is Sister's Day. I've already covered a great deal of my relationship with my sister on Sibling's Day. She is one of my best friends. She gets me. We don't have to say a word to know what the other one is thinking. She knows most of my secrets and loves me anyway. There are a lot of sisters in my family, and our dynamics are as unique as each of us. My sister and I are probably the closest of any sister pairs in the family. I credit my mom for that, more than I do the mere two and a half years between us. Mom forged a bond between us, from the time Laura was born. She told us boyfriends and friends would come and go, but a sister is forever. She also told us 'that's the only sister you'll ever have', which seemed almost like a threat. We better get along or else. My parents never made us feel like we were competing against each other. I excelled in academics, my sister was the sporty one. Mom and Dad didn't tell her 'Amy gets A's, I don't know why you can't.' Likewise, I wasn't forced to go out for basketball just because Laura did. They recognized that we were individual people, with our own unique talents. All they asked is that we did our best. If our best translated to As for me and B's or C's for Laura, at least we gave it our all. They didn't pit us against each other by saying one was prettier than the other. And while there is no doubt to anyone that I am Daddy's girl and Laura is Mommy's girl, my parents loved us both equally. We never thought one or the other was the favorite. Sadly, I know sisters whose parents did play favorites, and one sister never has been able to measure up to the other. I feel badly for these women, because they are missing out on such a wonderful relationship. I have long thought that my mother's desire for her girls to be close stems from her own relationship with her sister. Mom is four and a half years younger than her sister. My Grandmother was a mother who played favorites, and Mom wasn't it. I really think the only thing my Mom did right was give Grandma grandchildren. I loved my Grandma, but she was a very hard woman and she could be unkind to my Mom. Grandma did not see the need for Mom and her sister to be close. It has only been in recent years that they have gotten closer, especially after my Aunt moved back to NY. But they can't make up for all that lost time. Both of my Grandmother's had sisters. Grandma Wager and her sister were 10 years apart in age, while Grandma Primeau and her sister were 14 months apart. Both Grandmother's disowned their sisters for getting divorced and remarried. Grandma Wager reconciled with Aunt Vivian just a couple of months before Aunt Vivian died from MS. Their brother kept intervening, trying to get my Grandma to go visit their sister. He finally told Grandma that Vivian was dying, and it was now or never. I don't know when Grandma Primeau and Aunt Edna reconciled, but they went years without speaking to each other and they lived about a quarter of a mile apart. Laura and I have had our spats and arguments. All siblings do. We've gone from playmates to mortal enemies to best friends. Overall, our relationship is good. We have a lot of wonderful memories. We used to spend the summers in Florida with mom's parents. Wednesday was the Farmer's Market day. The Farmer's Market was on the way to the beach, so Wednesday was also beach day. We got up, went to the Farmer's Market when it opened, and then headed to New Smyrna Beach for the morning. We only spent a couple of hours at the beach, leaving around noon before it got too hot. On the way home from the beach, we stopped at Hardees for lunch. I tried to eat at Hardees as an adult and didn't care for it. But it was a big deal when we were kids. I can still picture us in that restaurant. When we got back to the house, it was into the tub for us while Grandpa washed the sand out of the car. This picture isn't my favorite of the two of us, but it has a great story. It's from my high school yearbook. At our school, it's tradition to take pictures of Seniors with their cars. Mom and I had actually switched cars. She was working in the city, and she came out one night to find a hobo sleeping across the hood of her brand new car. So she came home and said we were switching. She took the old station wagon- which had been given to me, and I was given the keys to the brand new one. I was actually mad, I wanted MY car. Hers did have a better radio though. The students were supposed to park in the back row. People wouldn't park near me, because they were terrified of scratching Mom's new car. When it came time for Senior pictures, I had to take my picture with Mom's car. I was in a bit of a rebellious stage that year, wearing my cowboy boots all the time. I wanted my boots in the picture, so my sister and I sat on the hood of the car. Mom was ticked when the yearbook came out- and there were her two girls sitting with their boots on the car! I still have the jacket I'm wearing, but I don't know if it fits. It's a bomber jacket I bought at Hard Rock Cafe in Madrid when my sister and I were there, and I haven't been able to bring myself to get rid of it. I am so fortunate to have a sister. I wish everyone could have what we have, because it's a treasure.